normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My dick has a subreddit
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
