OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize