i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
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I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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