is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
