I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
