i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
