Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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