just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
