What did we do last night that was yellow?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
