im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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