Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
