We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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