I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
