a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
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He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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