Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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