we made out on top of his cat.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
