I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
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as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
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well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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