one two three fourrrrnication!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize