Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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