At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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