she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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