C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
