Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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