Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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