once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
