did you get engaged???
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
