i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
