Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
