so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
