Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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