ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize