im holly from the hills drunk
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
