Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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