East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
