just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
