New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
