I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
