I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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