I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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