Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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