Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
