I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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