i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
