Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i love accidental penises.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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