he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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