they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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