the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I still have a little drunk in my system
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize