and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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