You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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