apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
