My brain says no but my pants say off.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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