:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
