He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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