I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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