Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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