Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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