rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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