If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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