Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize