we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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