I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
