Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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