the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i've created a new STD.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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